I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You're breaking my sexual little heart
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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