Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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