Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
