TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
All the doctor said was why
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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