CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Found your dick twin last night
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
