Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I am mentally ready for anal.
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