I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
