4 words: hood of his car
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
