Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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