so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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