all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
she told me i tasted like america
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
