Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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