Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
