I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize