his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
The feeling are messing with the penis
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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