I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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