Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
