she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
