i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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