I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
