my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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