plz talk dirty to me
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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