in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
