She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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