Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
