i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
barbara walters just said penis...
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
