I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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