rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
