the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
