we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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