I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
NoShamevember. You game?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
