Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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