I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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