Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize