Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?