Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
