To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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