whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
