Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
