I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
