and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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