Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
my poor anus
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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