Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shattered a urinal.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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