I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
