24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
