I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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