In the future we'll all be gay
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize