sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Please, let me fuck your mom
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
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I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
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But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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