That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Randomize
