There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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