so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
