If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
