sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
