Just fell off a train. Bad.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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