you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
