Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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