I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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