i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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