My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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