i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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