My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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