There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
